update on mom

so, i don't know how many of you know about what my mom is going through but some have asked so i'll just do this and make it easier!

few months ago she started having numbness in her hands and feet. well, that grew to numbness (and that awful tingling sensation you get when a body part falls asleep), in both legs from her knees down and both arms from her elbows down. she went to the dr who told her it looked like MS. has a bazillion tests done and then was told to see a neurologist. she saw him last week, after having a spinal tap. what it all boils down to is this; she has a tumor, they don't know if it is cancerous or not, in the center of her spinal cord in her neck. it is getting big VERY fast and if they don't stop it from growing soon she will eventually be paralyzed from the neck down. she is going to see a super specialist on tuesday to find out whether or not HE will operate, (the neurologist said he wouldn't dare b/c it would be so risky). but they have discussed cemo or radiation. (totally don't know the spelling of cemo. or kemo. whatever it is....) my mom is nervous but not scared. have i mentioned that she is one of the bravest people i know??? she has faith and a really good feeling to go along with it, that everything is going to be fine. my dad on the other hand is freaking out! i don't know what he would do if anything ever happened to my mom. she really is the glue that holds him together. but i'm happy that mom has such a wonderful attitude about things. it keeps me from picking up and going out there right now! i'll prob end up going out there some time. she asked me what i would do if she told me she needs me, and i'll be on a plane heading home if that happens! i feel so useless being so far away. i just want to hold her in my arms and make all the bad stuff go away! but of course, i'm completely unable to lift a hand to help being out here.

we'll know more next week. funny enough, the same day she has an appt to see what to do about that, i'll be getting an ultra sound of my little sea monkey. gah! i'm a little frustrated right now. shane is awesome. he tells me all the time that if i need to go home just say the word and i'm on a plane. but going into the winter and especially with him in school, a trip home would not be the smartest thing to do. i really don't like money! so, if mom can hang on til april, then we're all set! haha! (just hang on mom!) -ok, not like she's going to die! b/c that just ain't gonna happen, i mean about the whole needing me thing!-

so, i'll post more later when i have a better idea of what is going to happen.